Family Matters

Once again, I have an opportunity to be part of a community theater production. It’s been a good time getting to know new people and getting reacquainted with old friends. Most of them do not have a church connection. The biggest challenge is memorization since I have more lines this time around. Hopefully I will get them down when the lights come on. This play is all about family. Although it is a comedy, there are various themes that makes me think about the connection with family and the Christian walk.

There is an engaged couple dealing with cold feet and a sordid past. There are several characters who lost their spouses. There are themes of grief and purpose in life. A married couple do their share of bickering but always come together in love. One person isn’t necessarily that bright, but he does listen, makes some good observations and others care for him.

Of course, every good story needs a villain. A character comes on the scene who is concerned about money and taking advantage of others. He uses deception along the way. The story includes some longtime friends of the family who interfere at times but also give good advice and are forgiving. Even though there is tension and conflict, laughter and tears, everything works out in the end.

As a hospice chaplain I interact with families on a regular basis. It is not unusual to see some of the aspects I mentioned above to be present. There are families that are very close and supportive of one another through the aging and death process. Whether Christian families or those apart from faith in Jesus, I often see love and sacrifice. Sometimes people serve one another to the extent of exhaustion. I see spouses who have worked and walked together for over 60 years of marriage. There are also siblings who are unable to get along and those who are estranged. Some are as close as can be. There are children who are not willing to be part of their parent’s lives as they get older for various reasons. I have witnessed those with wealth and many material possessions and those who live in extreme poverty. Families tend to pass on their lifestyles to the next generation. Christian parents want to pass on their faith to their children although they know that each person must find their own way to God.

The Lord, in his wisdom, established the family from the start. There was a reason he created male and female and put them together. He has established the covenant of marriage and beautifully designed sex to provide procreation and pleasure. Parents are told to nurture their children and prepare them for independence. Children are expected to obey and honor their parents so that it will go well with them. It is disturbing to see that in our culture gender, marriage, and the family are being redefined and undermined. We should not be surprised that as our world becomes more godless that what the Lord ordained as the core of life is being torn apart. Family matters to God and it should matter to us that families are whole.

Even before he made the world, God loved us and chose us in Christ to be holy and without fault in his eyes. God decided in advance to adopt us into his own family by bringing us to himself through Jesus Christ. This is what he wanted to do, and it gave him great pleasure (Ephesians 1:4-5). It is difficult to comprehend that people who are in the faith were adopted and made sons and daughters before God made the world. Talk about advanced planning! We are adopted by God because sin made us orphans. Sin separates us from the father, but his son, Jesus, makes a family reunion possible. So now you Gentiles are no longer strangers and foreigners. You are citizens along with all of God’s holy people. You are members of God’s family (Eph. 2:19).

Some who are reading these words may have many family members who are involved in their lives and so the image of being in God’s family makes perfect sense because you have experienced human love. Others may be more alone in the world having been hurt by a family member or two. That makes seeing God the Father in a positive light a bit more challenging. Regardless, God wants us to know his love and to share and model his love with those who he has ordained we interact with and have interdependent relationships with.

We know as it relates to families that certain things are out of our control. We can’t choose what family we are born into. Although we can guide and direct our children, how they turn out is ultimately not up to us. The way family members treat us is also something that we cannot control. However, we can control our words, attitudes, and actions. As someone who is in the family of God, we represent Him in how we treat others. We can be a blessing or a burden. When we are with family, we can breathe life into them or suck the air out of the room. For those who have had family members pass away, we can carry on their legacy by imitating their positive characteristics. We know there are factors in the world that hurt our marriage and family relationships. Some of those are external and others are based on bad choices each person may make. Forgiveness and second chances are vital when someone has wronged us. We can continue to look to our heavenly father for ways to love others.

Hopefully you are also a vital part of your church family. We know that in the body of Christ there are opportunities to serve and be a blessing and there are also trouble spots that bring challenges. Respect everyone, and love the family of believers (1 Peter 2:17). We owe honor and respect even if we are not given them. To love everyone in the family is not always easy but it is what we are called to do, and it is always best. Whether we’re talking about the church body or those who live under your roof, remember that family matters.