Morrisons Cove Herald - Putting cows on the front page since 1885.


The Sportsman's Corner

Estella Tells All


January 16, 2020

As I've aged, Donna has become increasingly successful in duping me into accompanying her on shopping trips. Recently she dragged me off to a distant mall I'd never heard of. Donna had entered a store; I was strolling toward a bench to sit it out. I heard a voice, "Psst, Rich. How would you like to hear a few predictions about future hunting events?"

I looked at the woman hissing at me. She was standing under a sign that read "Estella, the Fortune Teller." I was mystified that she knew who I was: I had never before set eyes on her.

"Not today," I replied.

Before I could say anything else, she said, "It will cost you nothing, and you will astound your readers with information that is not yet available to them. Come into my shop."

I was mesmerized by her appearance. She was dressed in a flowing robe, and her raven-black hair was knotted inside a silky bandana. What the heck, I thought. I went in.

She gazed into her crystal ball. "The Pennsylvania Game Commission received about 110,000 deer harvest reports this year. When they release their harvest report figures, they are going to tell you that about 350,000 deer were harvested. They will not tell you how few of these were taken on public land," Estella whispered.

"Aw, I could've told you that," I responded. "The commission triples the reported harvest every year. It says the figures are statistically correct."

She continued. "I see something else coming from the game commission. The legislature recently passed a law allowing some Sunday hunting, including during rifle deer season. You hunters opposed a Saturday opening day for rifle deer season this past year by a two-thirds majority. The commission ignored you. Things are a little murky. Now I see. The commission is planning to retain the Saturday opener and is going to place the rifle-hunting Sunday immediately following the opening Saturday. Their spokesmen will tell you hunters that this will increase your hunting opportunities."

"We know that's what they're plotting," I replied. "They've spoiled family Thanksgiving and the deer-season preparation weekend for many sportsmen."

"Don't interrupt," Estella growled. "Something else is emerging. Despite the decreasing numbers of turkeys statewide, the commission will retain the special license to kill extra gobblers during the spring. It will make lots of unneeded money from this."

After that, she hustled me out of her lair, just as Donna exited the store where she'd been. "What's the matter with you?" Donna asked. "You look like you're in la-la land."


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