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When familial relations fracture, it takes all sides to be willing to come together to heal the wounds. So, what happens if one of those sides passes away, taking any hope of reconciliation to the grave?
For former Williamsburg resident and first-time author Patricia Moser, she found a way to forgive her father and bring closure to a relationship that for many reasons remained strained to the day he died.
Her debut novel, "A Journey Through Heaven," provided Moser a unique way to connect with her father in death in a way she couldn't in life.
"My book is based on my father, and a lot of times our relationship was not good," Moser said.
"A Journey Through Heaven" tells the story of Moser's father Luther (not his real name) after he dies and goes to heaven. Readers are taken on a virtual trip through heaven and walk alongside Luther and his guide, George.
George takes Luther on a journey through his life, showing him the good, the bad and the ugly. Along the way, Luther meets up with deceased family members who play a vital role in his journey.
When Luther first arrives in heaven, he has no memory of his life, but the deeper into the journey he and George go, he begins to remember the details of his life, and the people he hurt along the way.
"As Luther begins to remember his life, he realizes there are things he could have done differently but chose not to," Moser said.
"A Journey Through Heaven" began as a series of personal essays Moser began to write to help her cope with the estrangement from her father, which began 15 years ago and lasted until his death in 2012.
'I tolerated the way he treated me for many years because he was my father,' Moser said. "I finally reached a point in my life when I just couldn't take it anymore. I didn't need to be putting up with the things that I put up with from him, and I decided I wasn't going to do it anymore. Our relationship basically came to an end."
Although it was a painful decision to break away from her father, Moser said she realized that by maintaining a relationship with him she was hurting herself.
Moser said she held out hope that she could reconnect with her father, but he died before that could happen.
"I had always hoped there would be a time when he and I could reconcile, but that never happened," she said. "After he died, I realized there was absolutely no way that there will ever be any reconciliation, at least not in my earthly life, and that bothered me."
That is when Moser turned to writing to try to reconnect with her father, and to – she hoped – find a way to forgive.
"By writing, I started to feel better," she said. "I hoped that through some power of intervention, he is hearing what I'm writing and maybe understanding."
Moser said the more she wrote, the more memories came back to her, and with the encouragement of a writer's group she belongs to, she began to put the stories in book form.
"I started reading what I had written to the writer's group and they encouraged me to write a book, and the stories became the book," she said.
Writing about her relationship with her father, Moser had to lay out some painful memories on the table for all to see, a process that she said helped her find some peace with her father.
"It helped me get over some of the anger I had," she said. "They were rather raw, and I was upset with a lot of the things that happened, but by writing them it was a way I was connecting with my father. It made me feel better writing about them even though I was laying a lot of these things on the line."
Moser said that although the book blends fantasy and wishful thinking along with actual family history, she didn't hold back when writing about her father's faults, and the things he did that brought their relationship to an end.
"I intertwine some fiction with actual facts and maybe that helped soften the blow a little bit," she said. "I wanted to be as open and honest as I could about our relationship. I didn't sugarcoat anything. Maybe I tried to rationalize some events, but I don't think I sugarcoated them."
Moser, who resides on a dairy farm in Bally, Berks County, lived in Williamsburg for a couple of years but still has strong ties to the community.
Her daughter, Stephanie McChessney, a school teacher, calls Williamsburg home. Her granddaughter Kassidy McChessney is a 2019 graduate of Williamsburg High School.
Moser was previously married to the late Rev. Dr. Kenneth M. Diable of the Zion Lutheran Church in Williamsburg.
Moser said her family has been supportive of her book and understands that much like Luther's journey through heaven was necessary for him to see how his actions hurt his daughter, her journey in writing the book was necessary for her to finally make peace with her father.
Moser said she is free of any anger she held toward her father and taking this journey with him was her way of putting their life together in perspective.
"It has made me see him in a different light," she said. "It has made me forgive him for the things that I felt he did to me. I do believe he has forgiven himself for the things he has done."
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